Living With ADHD: Strategies for Well-Being

coping with ADHD diagnosis

Verywell / Brianna Gilmartin

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurotype marked by difficulty concentrating, hyperactivity/impulsiveness, disorganization, low frustration tolerance, and other traits that can make everyday functioning a challenge in a neurotypical-centered world.

While living with ADHD can be difficult at times, treatment and lifestyle changes can be monumental for overall well-being.

At a Glance

ADHD is a disability, but it is mainly a disability due to the neurotypical-centered society that we live in. Rather than encouraging people with ADHD to hide their traits, support looks like creating environments where their needs are met without having to hide or mask

Living with ADHD is about monitoring your traits and actively working toward finding what works best for you. With the right support and treatment, you can create a life that allows you to reach your greatest potential.

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Watch Now: Strategies for Living With ADHD

How People With ADHD May Be Perceived

People living with ADHD often lack focus, wander off task, talk excessively, fidget, and act impulsively. Children commonly present with hyperactivity, and as they age, they may struggle more with attention, leading to academic difficulties.

Others often misunderstand this type of neurodivergence. People who don't understand the traits of ADHD may label children with ADHD as unmotivated, lazy, or problem children.

Adults living with ADHD may be seen as irresponsible or flighty because they struggle to remember important details or obligations and have difficulty staying on task.

How It Feels to Be Newly Diagnosed

Many people are surprised by the strong emotions they feel when they are diagnosed with ADHD.  Common emotions include:

  • Relief: When you first get an ADHD diagnosis, you may feel relieved to finally have a label that describes what you're experiencing. It may feel validating to know that your traits stem from a different neurotype and are not "bad" traits.
  • Anger: After the relief has faded, you may feel angry. Perhaps you don't want ADHD or maybe you're feeling frustration toward parents or teachers who blamed you for your traits.
  • Grief: You may feel sad that you didn't get diagnosed earlier or you may grieve for what your life might have been like if you didn't have ADHD. You may also feel sad for your younger self who struggled with school and life with undiagnosed ADHD.

It's normal to experience a range of emotions after you are diagnosed. It's also normal to find that your feelings and experiences change as you learn more about living with ADHD.

What You Can Do 

  • Reassure yourself that all these emotions are normal, even if they are painful at the time.
  • Talk to other people about how you're feeling, and be willing to ask for help.
  • Find an ADHD support group in your area. Meeting other people who have been through a similar experience is very helpful.
  • Consider working with a therapist who is knowledgeable about ADHD.
  • Seek out other folks with ADHD in real life and on social media who have known about their diagnosis longer to learn tips and ways to accommodate yourself. Lived experience is key in figuring out ways to accept and thrive with ADHD
  • Look at online resources by people with ADHD. "How to ADHD" is a great example of a YouTube channel with many applicable, helpful tips from an ADHDer.

Deciding Who to Tell

Sharing your diagnosis with some people could help move forward and empower you to feel like your most authentic self when living with ADHD. It's not always easy to explain ADHD to friends and family members. Those who don't understand the neurotype may think you're using it as an excuse to get out of your day-to-day responsibilities.

People who don't understand may offer unsolicited advice like, "Stop watching so much TV, and you'll feel better." Those things can be tough to hear.

When people in your life want to support you and develop a better understanding of ADHD, provide them with information about the neurotype, and let them know how they can best support you.

You may also want to consider telling your employer or professor. If your child is diagnosed with ADHD, you'll want to share that information with the school.

Employers and school administration can assist with special accommodations. Placing your desk away from distractions or allowing you to wear noise-canceling headphones, for example, may greatly increase your productivity.

It's also important to tell all your medical providers about your diagnosis. Don't depend on your medical records to speak for themselves.

Managing Your Traits

Work closely with medical professionals to find the best treatment options for you when you are living with ADHD. Don't hesitate to speak up when something isn't working, and be willing to ask questions about what you can expect to experience with treatment.

It's important to continue managing and monitoring your traits even when you feel as though treatment is working well. Your traits may shift with changes in your environment or your ADHD may change as you grow older.

Continue to communicate with your treatment providers about any changes you experience or any difficulties you notice.

If you're taking medication, there may be times when you need to change your dose or change medications altogether. Or, you may find it helpful to start therapy when you undergo a change in employment.

You may also experiment with a variety of lifestyle changes. For example, close monitoring of your traits might help you recognize that you need more structure in your life so you can spend less time searching for misplaced items. Adding more structure and getting organized might be key to helping you manage your traits best.

Get Help Now

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6 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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Additional Reading

By Keath Low
 Keath Low, MA, is a therapist and clinical scientist with the Carolina Institute for Developmental Disabilities at the University of North Carolina. She specializes in treatment of ADD/ADHD.