| Athletes' Wives Must Cope with "Adultery Culture" | |
CORVALLIS, OR - Many wives of professional male athletes have to consider the
possibility of their husbands' infidelity, particularly during a long season
with numerous road trips. How they handle their fear and stress varies and may
depend on their motivation for marriage, a study suggests.
A "culture of adultery" permeates professional sports today, says Steven M.
Ortiz, an assistant professor of sociology at Oregon State University. Ortiz
presented the findings of his research on the little known survival techniques
of athletes' wives at the annual meeting of the American Sociological
Association on Monday, August 20, in Anaheim, Calif.
"At home and especially on the road, these athletes deal with boredom, peer
group pressure, team loyalty, opportunity, sense of self-importance, and the
availability of women who seem to be irresistibly attracted to professional
athletes," Ortiz said. "There clearly seems to be a 'fast food sex mentality'
among professional athletes."
While media accounts of the sexual exploits of athletes aren't new, little has
been written about how wives respond to adultery - and to the possibility of
adultery. Ortiz conducted his study as a doctoral candidate at the University of
California-Berkeley in the 1990s, where he worked with noted scholars Arlie
Russell Hochschild and Harry Edwards. As part of that study, over a four-year
period, he interviewed the wives of 47 different professional athletes in the
four major team sports - football, baseball, basketball and hockey.
What emerged from those interviews were profiles of adaptation, as wives
developed coping strategies that often evolved over time. The wives who were
interviewed also identified a category of wives who were drawn to marriage more
for the glamour and money than for love or the relationship.
"It may be that women who marry the 'athlete' more than the 'man' tend may be
more accepting of their husbands' affairs," Ortiz said. "Not only do they fear
losing financial security and the affluent lifestyle, they often possess low
self-esteem."
Women who married before their husbands became professional athletes - including
most of the interviewed wives - did not tolerate long-term extramarital affairs,
though many were forced to deal with their spouses' one-time only "one-night
stand."
Ortiz found a major difference between new wives and wives who had been married
to an athlete for 10 to 15 years.
"The majority of the new wives truly didn't know what they were getting in for,"
Ortiz said, "and often they have to learn the ropes from the veteran wives. The
wife of a baseball player who has been married and 'in the league' for 15 years
can be fairly hardened. She has seen, or heard, it all."
And when she hears from her husband that he's had an affair, Ortiz says, she has
to make a decision - to cope with it, or to dissolve the marriage. Most will
give the husband the benefit of the doubt, he pointed out, though the wives will
use the incident to set a few ground rules.
"One thing that I learned from the interviews is that these women are strong,"
Ortiz said. "If they don't know what the lifestyle is like, they quickly learn.
And then they develop strategies to manage that ongoing stress. The strategies
vary in confronting the 'possibility' of marital infidelity since the
possibility is always there, though the infidelity may not be.
"Some of the wives use humor, while others may change the boundaries of trust in
the relationship," he added. "Whatever strategies they rely on, they continue to
manage the family life. Most of the wives are very strong, intelligent and
resilient. That's why the men married them in the first place."
Ortiz said some strategies for handling the stress of possible infidelity have
negative consequences. Some wives are in denial and don't want to talk about it.
Others acknowledge the issue constantly and may feel like they are pressuring
their husbands for constant reassurance.
"Many wives of professional athletes engage in 'suspicion management,'" Ortiz
said. "It's all in their approach to the issue. Some wives look for signs that
their husband has been unfaithful; others may deny the possibility by avoiding
the issue completely. They are different strategies of dealing with the same
fears."
The sexual lives of professional athletes is an area that the management of most
teams would like to ignore, and by and large, they do, Ortiz said. However,
media scrutiny transcends privacy issues in instances like the Gold Club
racketeering trial, and public affairs endured by star athletes.
Outsiders tend to view those incidents as the tip of an iceberg, and Ortiz says
that depiction may be accurate. There exists a culture of adultery, he said,
that managers and coaches usually ignore, that fellow players may often
encourage, and with which the wives must contend.
"These men spend so much time together practicing, working and traveling, that
they bond very closely," Ortiz said. "I would argue that in certain ways, many
of them are closer to their teammates than they are to their wives and families.
Yet it is the women who become the support system without which many men could
not survive.
"I talked to one woman who learned on the radio that her husband had been traded
to a team across the country. He didn't call her because he was trying to catch
a plane to his new team. It is the wives, though, who must pack up the
furniture, pull the kids out of school, sell the house and move the family. And
this is very common in their world, as it is in other career-dominated
marriages."
Ortiz, who recently joined the faculty at Oregon State University after teaching
simultaneously at Sonoma State University and U.C.-Berkeley, specializes in the
marital relationships of professional athletes. He is working on a book about
sport marriages.
As a former athlete, coach and long-time sports fan, he admits to a curiosity
about the private lives of these public husbands.
"As a society, we love our sports heroes," Ortiz said. "Like other celebrities,
we want to put star athletes on a pedestal. And then, if we want them to have
feet of clay, we pull them down. The wives, though, are there through it all."
---American Sociological Association
Back to The Science of Mental Health
Articles in The Science of Mental Health are written by the originating institution. This article was originally posted to Newswise. Newswise maintains a comprehensive database of news releases from top institutions engaged in scientific, medical, liberal arts and business research. The friendly interface allows you to search, browse or download any article or abstract.
