In most situations we have the choice to be passive, assertive, or aggressive. Being assertive is often the best choice.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: varies
Here's How:
- Preface remarks with "Do you have a minute for us to discuss something?"
- Express your wants, ideas or feelings directly. The goal is to communicate.
- Express your self in the first person, using the word "I" rather than "you."
- Be tactful, express emotion verbally, not just nonverbally.
- Respect the other person, but clearly state your case.
- Accept responsibility for your emotions rather than blaming others.
- Give the other person a chance to respond.
- Leave the door open for future communication.
Tips:
- Being passive allows frustration to build as your needs don't get met. Conflict is avoided but problems build.
- When confronting say "When you do ___ I feel ____." This elicits less defensiveness.
- Deal with situations as they arise unless you need to cool down before discussing things.
