Their article, Compatibility, Leisure, and Satisfaction in Marital Relationships, reports results from a longitudinal study of 73 married couples followed for more than 13 years, from the time they were newlyweds in 1981 until 1994-1995. For this study, spouses were questioned individually in 1983, and again in 1994-95 about which leisure activities they liked and disliked, the amount of time they spent in shared and unshared leisure activities, and their marital satisfaction.
Two surprising findings from this study stand out. First, although couples who liked many of the same activities did not necessarily pursue more leisure activities together, when couples engaged more in leisure activities that both enjoyed, the husbands were happier both 2 years and 13 years into the marriage. More surprising was that couples who participated together in activities that only one spouse liked were less happy both 2 years and 13 years later.
Of all leisure activities, those that husbands liked but wives disliked were most closely related to couples' marital satisfaction. Wives were less happy early in marriage and became less happy with their marriages over time when couples spent more time together in leisure activities that only husbands liked. Similarly, the more time husbands spent in leisure by themselves that only they liked, the less happy their wives were early in marriage and the less happy with the marriage both wives and husbands became over time.
Researcher Duane Crawford states, "Although women may do activities with their husbands that their husbands like but they do not enjoy, the more time they spend in those activities, the more likely it is that they end up being less happy with their marriages. This may be because wives find themselves doing activities that they dislike, or it may be a reflection of how well the couple gets along during these activities, or both."
In her review of the research, Dr. Shirley Hill of the Department of Sociology at the University of Kansas comments, "I was impressed by the way the study challenged some common shortcomings and assumptions of earlier research. What stands out particularly is the very 'gendered' nature of satisfaction for men and women. Not surprisingly, it appears that women in marriage may be more willing to 'give' even when it means their later dissatisfaction."
"I think the more important point, however, is that women today have a better sense of what their own leisure interests are," Dr. Hill continues. "They have more money and freedom, they are less likely to always think they should 'come second' in the family, and they have become more demanding in relationships. Whether compatibility in leisure is overrated as a factor in marital satisfaction depends a lot on marital expectations, or what people hoped and expected the marriage to provide."
Dr. Alexis Walker, JMF Editor and Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences at Oregon State University, concludes, "When we think about a marriage, we think the couple is compatible, that the spouses enjoy doing the same leisure activities, and that when they have 'down time,' they choose to spend it with each other. Dr. Crawford and his colleagues have shown that enjoying the same leisure activities doesn't always lead couples to actually spend time together doing them. And time together in recreational activities doesn't always lead to spouses having positive feelings about their marriage. The researchers have demonstrated again how our ideas about marriage don't always match the way marriage really is."
The Journal of Marriage and Family is a quarterly publication of the National Council on Family Relations, 3989 Central Avenue NE, Suite 550, Minneapolis, MN 55421. The full text article is entitled "Compatibility, Leisure, and Satisfaction in Marital Relationships" and can be accessed on the NCFR website at http://www.ncfr.org/about_us/j_press_releases.asp.
---National Council on Family Relations
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