When you were growing up did the family eat dinner together? Did you go on family vacations? Does your family get together for holidays? ADecember 2002review of 32 studies affirms that family routines (such as bedtime, chores, and dinner time) and family rituals (such as birthdays, Christmas celebrations, and family reunions) are associated with marital satisfaction, adolescents' sense of personal identity, academic achievement, children's health, and stronger family relationships. One study found that children who had regular bedtime routines got to sleep sooner and woke up less frequently during the night than those with less regular routines. Regular routines in the household have even been found to shorten bouts of respiratory infections in infants.
Barbara H. Fiese, Ph.D., and colleagues at Syracuse University distinguished between a family routine and a family ritual in the following way: "Routines involve instrumental communication conveying information that 'this is what needs to be done' and involve a momentary time commitment so that once the act is completed, there is little, if any, afterthought. Rituals, on the other hand, involve symbolic communication and convey 'this is who we are' as a group and provide continuity in meaning across generations." according to Dr. Fiese. "Also, there is often an emotional imprint where once the act is completed, the individual may replay it in memory to recapture some of the positive experience." Routines can become rituals if they move from instrumental to a symbolic acts.
Many families have abandoned routines such as family mealtime as family members have conflicting demands on their time. Will this cause problems? The review does not suggest that any particular routine is crucial, but the presence of family routines and rituals in general is beneficial. Routines and rituals may be especially important following a divorce, mitigating some of the negative effects. Routines and ritual provide a familiar structure when the structure of the family itself is threatened.
The authors suggest that three of four family meals a week may help families achieve some of these benefits. This particular routine may not be essential in every family, but awareness of the importance of routines and rituals may help your family's health.
- If possible, try to have at least two to three family meals each week.
- Plan family vacations at least once a year.
- Consider starting a new family ritual for holidays if old ones are no longer occurring.
- Enforce bedtimes, especially for young children.
- Give children an allowance that represents their portion of the family income.
- Assign children chores that represent their portion of the family labor.
Reference: "Barbara H. Fiese, Thomas J. Tomcho, Michael Douglas, Kimberly Josephs, Scott Poltrock, and Tim Baker; A Review of 50 Years of Research on Naturally Occurring Family Routines and Rituals: Cause for Celebration?," Syracuse University; Journal of Family Psychology, Vol. 16, No. 4.
